How others judge you
[in progress] I was at my cousion’s the other day. This cousin lives in one of the most expensive apartments condos in Gurgaon. He wears a toupee. I did an art assignment once called “themes and bridges” The intent was for us students to put as much care into designing the bridges as the themes. If you connect a piece of metal with a piece of wood, as one might for a chair, the two themes are the materials wood and chair, the bridge is how artfully you connect the two, is it joinery or screws or glue. The problem I have with toupees is the bridges. You can always see where they connect with the forehead. And you can always notice when they don’t quite blend with the remaining hair. Not that I am opposed to wearing a toupee if I go bald. But my cousin wears a toupee. He has been living apart from his wife and they recently formalised their divorce. He has two daughters. He was telling us how profligate they have become with their spending. But it is really the kind of complaint that is actually a brag. About how she’s been to Madrid and some other cities and now she is going to Ibiza and how she’s talked her dad into paying for her flights and more and buying a whole new set of bikinis for her beach days. Why he had to drop in a detail in front of three men about his 19 year old daughter wearing a bikini, I won’t understand. He suspects that I am gay (I haven’t told him), so he would try to suss it out. I told him I went on a trip to Malaysia. With whom? He asks. With a friend. Male or female. Male. He pauses. Continues with the conversation. A while later, “did you guys get two rooms or one room?” Two rooms I said. I lied. I’ve come to realize that coming out is something you reserve for people who matter in your life. He looked at the other two folks in the room, my brothers to evoke a snigger or a wry smile. “I don’t have a problem with gays, I don’t want them in my family.” he says and laughs again. Two days later he was hosting a dinner at his house. We all had to go because it was to have my brother who’s here for a few days from the US.